According to a recent report from Harvard, the rental market is less affordable than it’s ever been: Half of U.S. renters spend 30% of their income on rent, and almost 3 in 10 spend more than 50%.
Jonas Bordo, CEO and cofounder of Dwellsy, says it’s no surprise, therefore, that more cost-burdened renters are considering taking on a roommate, even though they may be well beyond the age where sharing a space is optimal. To ensure the best possible roommate experience at any age, Bordo recommends asking these eight questions:
1. How well do I need to know my roommate? Is it important that you know and trust your roommate before moving in with them? Or are you willing to look at a shared rental as more of a business arrangement with a like-minded stranger? “If you don’t have a candidate in mind, you can look for roommates on social media groups,” says Bordo. “Some are neighborhood-specific, and others help people find roommates who share certain traits. There are also different websites and apps that match potential roommates, sometimes for a subscription fee.”
2. How might we split the rent? “You don’t necessarily have to go the 50/50 route,” Bordo points out. “Maybe the person with the master suite or home office pays more. Or perhaps one roommate pays less in exchange for doing the grocery shopping and cooking most of the meals.” If you’re interested in exploring a less-conventional financial arrangement with a roommate, nail down the details of how the arrangement might work in advance.
3. How much social interaction do I need? If you’re an introvert, you’ll want to look for a roommate who will give you some space. If you’re more of an extrovert, you may want a roommate who will be up for drinks, dinner and Netflix after work. “Some people find that having a roommate is a real boost to their mood and mental well-being; others absolutely need time alone to recharge,” points out Bordo. “It’s best to put some thought into your social preferences before moving in with another person.”
4. What kind of housekeeper am I? Bordo advises taking an honest look at your housekeeping preferences and considering how they might mesh with another person’s. “If you’re a neat freak, will it bother you if another person leaves mail out on the counter?” he asks. “If you thrive in a more chaotic environment, are you willing to put a few more chores on your roster? Housekeeping is at the root of some of the most acrimonious roommate feuds I’ve encountered. The good news is, if you and your roommate can agree on what chores should be done and how to divide them, you’ll each have less work to do than if you lived alone.”
5. How sensitive am I to noise (and visitors, and privacy, and unpredictable schedules, etc.)? According to Bardo, when you’re living in close quarters with someone else, it’s not always easy to brush things off. “Think about what things might be a compatibility issue for you, and identify any must-haves and deal-breakers before moving in together.”
6. How well does this apartment align with our needs? If you’re contemplating moving to a new rental, choosing the right place can be as important as roommate compatibility. Is the kitchen big enough for two people to move around in? If your roommate regularly wakes up earlier, will the sound of the shower disturb you? Is there enough storage space for both of your possessions? “Your physical space has a big impact on quality of life,” says Bordo. “When possible, take the time to find a place that will work for both parties.
7. What are my decorating preferences…and whose furniture will we use? Since this space will be home to you and your roommate, it needs to feel comfortable and welcoming for both parties, which will most likely entail some negotiation. For example, perhaps she hangs her horror movie posters only in her bedroom in exchange for keeping your treasured clown figurines in yours. “Having a roommate is a fantastic way to furnish and decorate an apartment,” Bordo points out. “But when two people who already own a household’s worth of stuff pool their possessions, your rental can get overcrowded—fast. Before moving in, be sure to discuss things like whose couch you’ll use, and what the other person will do with their extraneous furniture.”
8. How comfortable am I with communicating my needs and having tough conversations? Even if you and your roommate get along well, you won’t see eye to eye on everything. Some of the other person’s habits will annoy you and vice versa. It’s crucial to address small issues before they become big ones, and to stick to your boundaries if there is a major disagreement. Most incompatibilities can often be resolved, or at least lived with, until the lease is up. What you literally can’t afford to compromise on is finances, says Bordo. “Talking about money can be difficult and awkward, but you must determine up front if your roommate is able and willing to pony up.”
Ultimately, says Bordo, there’s no such thing as the perfect roommate, but with a little understanding and consideration from both sides, you’ll be able to find a workable and mostly enjoyable living situation.
