“We won’t make ourselves more creative and productive by copying other people’s habits, even the habits of geniuses,” she writes. “We must know our own nature, and what habits serve us best.”
We also have to ask what we want out of life.
Rubin, for example, longed for more time with her older daughter.
“I had to ask myself, ‘How can I make that happen?’” she says. “Scheduling ways to make it happen every week helps me monitor whether I’m putting time aside for her and asking her to put aside time for me.”
Step 3: Hold yourself accountable
“You have to monitor whatever is essential to you,” Rubin says. “It’s the only way to ensure that your life reflects your values.”
If you want to walk more, Rubin says, you buy a pedometer. Likewise, if you want to read more, you should keep track of how many books you read.
“Anything that’s important to you, the more you track it and are aware of it, the better you tend to do at it.”
Step 4: Don’t stop
Stumbling blocks litter the path to change. It’s critical, Rubin says, to avoid tripping on them.
“Because taking the first step is so important, and often so difficult, I try not to falter in my steps once I’ve started,” she writes. “Stopping halts momentum, breeds guilt, makes us feel bad about losing ground and, worst of all, breaks the habit so that the need for decision-making returns, which demands energy, and often results in making a bad decision.”
So while a cheat day (or month) might seem like a much-deserved treat for all your progress, Rubin suggests weighing the consequences carefully.
“While some habits are almost unbreakable, some habits remain fragile, even after years,” she writes. “We must guard against anything that might weaken a valuable habit. Every added link in the chain strengthens the habit — and any break in the chain marks a potential stopping point.”
©2015 Chicago Tribune
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