How to Help Your Kids Develop Autonomy
Autonomy is critical for healthy child development. Kids who have a reasonable amount of freedom learn to make responsible choices, deal with challenges and become independent adults. Taking a balanced approach to parenting can help your children become autonomous.
Set Guidelines to Help Your Kids Make Responsible Decisions
Every family has rules that members must adhere to. Explaining why rules are in place can help your kids make responsible choices. For instance, if you’re concerned about a potential safety issue, explain that to your kids so they can make decisions that will prevent accidents.
Validate Your Children’s Feelings
Everybody has emotions. Being taught to suppress feelings or to be ashamed of them can lead to anxiety and can make it difficult for kids to learn to deal with challenges. Teach your kids that their feelings, even negative ones, are valid and normal so they can learn healthy coping strategies.
Give Your Kids a Reasonable Amount of Freedom
Trying to control your kids can backfire. It can lead to conflicts, power struggles and rebellious behavior, and can keep your kids from learning how to make responsible decisions.
In order to foster autonomy, you need to be actively engaged and involved in your kids’ lives while giving them some latitude to make their own choices and learn from them. Being allowed to make decisions gives children a feeling of control over their environment and their lives.
Let your kids make decisions that are appropriate for their age and for the situation. For instance, you can offer two healthy snack options or two fun family activities and let your children choose one. Letting your kids make small choices can boost their confidence, which can help them when they have to make bigger choices.
Encourage Your Children to Try Things Themselves
Even if you can do something better or faster yourself, give your children a chance to try. Accomplishing simple tasks can boost confidence and make your kids feel comfortable trying new activities.
Allow Your Kids to Make Mistakes
Sometimes failing or having a plan backfire can be a blessing in disguise. It can teach a child that mistakes are a natural part of the learning process and nothing to be ashamed of.
If you think a child is making a mistake but no one is in danger, don’t intervene. Let your child make a mistake, recognize the error, then figure out how to handle it. You can ask questions, suggest possible solutions and offer guidance, but resist the urge to try to “fix” things. Overcoming obstacles gives kids confidence that can help them handle other challenges they may face in the future.
Don’t Be Overprotective
As a parent, it’s natural to want to protect your kids, but you won’t always be there to help them. Encourage your kids to develop autonomy when they’re young so they’ll be prepared to deal with the many challenges they will encounter throughout their lives
