“Rather, the person remembers the gist of that memory and it is often blended into other related, encoded gist memories,” Kehoe says.
So you may remember the specific year the cat climbed into the Christmas tree, or when the dog ate the turkey. Maybe you think you remember other particular details of those holidays, but actually, you may be remembering an amalgam of details that come together to form one.
And there’s nothing wrong with that. Neuropsychologist Daniel Reisberg, who teaches at Reed College in Portland, Ore., says that if that “memory” is meaningful to you — or to your child, 20 or 30 years from now — the gist is enough.
PUTTING MEMORY TO WORK
Reisberg recommends that if you want your family to remember specific details of a holiday or any major event, it helps to pull everybody together and revisit what happened soon after and often, even using photos as a guide.
“The more you reinforce the memory,” Reisberg says, “the longer it will be etched in your brain accurately.”
Even famous savant Frank Healy, a therapist who can remember everything in great detail because he has larger frontal lobes in his brain that account for his phenomenal memory, still takes mental notes throughout the day. In other words, practice alone can make the most lasting memories, both Reisberg and Healy say.
“Rehash it in your mind a few times every day for at least a week,” Healy says. “You will improve your (long-term) recall of any event if you do that.”
Gwynn Morris, associate professor of psychology at Meredith College in Raleigh, N.C., says she has made a picture book for each of her children about their first Christmas.
“It highlights many of our family traditions, like decorating cookies, having an eggnog toast after decorating the tree, and putting baby Jesus in the manger on Christmas morning,” she says. “Reading about these events sets up a script in their minds about what to expect, so that when we actually do these fun things each year, they are better able to understand and contextualize them. I hope this will strengthen their memories. Although I don’t expect my (18-month-old) to remember our eggnog toast this year, my (3-year-old) is already eagerly anticipating it.”
For Rapini, it wasn’t just the random act of icy nature that helped supply her indelible memory of that long-ago Christmas morning. Her good-natured father, and his rallying of her family, also was key.
“My dad, who was a horrible skater, decided everyone should put on skates and, holding hands, we all skated into town,” recalls Rapini, who also remembers his falling frequently. “I had so much fun and was so grateful for my family I didn’t feel sad anymore, and I’ve never forgotten that morning.”
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