Ongoing lawsuits leave the real estate industry facing an uncertain future, with real estate professionals unsure which business practices will remain in place. Disputes on your team shouldn’t have to go as far as a courtroom, but conflict resolution is a vital skill as an agent. Being part of a team gives you a chance to put those skills to the test.
Negotiating with (and for) your clients is a crucial part of your job. There’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to negotiate on your own behalf, too. Seeing how conflicts are managed among team members also allows you to judge whether the team is the right fit for you. It’s the same way any buyer will want to attend an open house (or at the very least see photos) before they consider living in a home.
The National Association of REALTORS®, in its conflict mediation guidelines, recommends being as upfront as you can while being an active listener, qualities that will allow for an open dialogue and—hopefully—a mutually beneficial resolution.
Know what you want
It’s generally a good idea to head into a negotiation with hard and soft wants—what you’re willing to move on, and what you won’t. That means taking stock of what is most important to you and ranking from there.
But remember that the soft wants are still things you do want. Be willing to sacrifice them, but not eager. Don’t immediately accept the easiest deal just in the spirit of resolution. Compromise will have to occur, but that doesn’t mean your opening offer should be a compromise.
Think of yourself as your own client here. How would a buyer client feel if they found out you didn’t get them the best deal possible? Keep that reaction in mind as you negotiate for yourself.
Listen to the other side of the table
Speaking of compromise, the flip side of being firm in your needs and/or desires is to recognize that the other party feels the same way about what they want or need.
If you approach a conversation as a battle to be won, neither you nor your negotiating partner (not “opponent”) will walk away feeling victorious. Not speaking can be the most important part of the conversation, provided you understand the push and pull of silence—say nothing and the other person won’t understand what you want, and you’ll probably get little of it.
In the spirit of directness, you can ask the teammate across from you exactly what they want to walk away from the table with. Then, share what you want, and the journey to reaching the acceptable space between those two points can begin.
Talk directly, and in person
Real estate coach Sherri Johnson recommends that, during conflicts, teammates should avoid email or text conversations.
Text conversations are much easier to blow up than face-to-face ones. You only have the words to go off of, not tone, expression, etc. A poorly worded response can spark anger or annoyance, which leads to frustration or resentment. Those feelings will spark the exact sort of “going into battle” mindset you should avoid for an in-person conversation.
Similarly, another part of being a direct communicator is to have the conversation with your teammate ASAP. Don’t put it off and let the conflict hover in the air between the two of you. Address it in a timely manner so you can function like the team you’re supposed to be.
Recognize seniority, but not blindly
You don’t have to utterly defer to seniority; assuming you have to put your needs behind others’ on the team is a good way to wind up feeling dissatisfied. Doing so may bury one inter-team conflict, but it’s going to create another, where you might feel you aren’t being heard by your teammates.
But it’s also important to have situational awareness. For instance, you probably wouldn’t conflict resolve with your team leader the same way you would with, say, a fellow new agent.
When walking the line between assertiveness and being deferential, it’s important to have situational awareness. Has the person you have an issue with been in the industry or part of the team longer? Then it might be a good idea to listen and learn from them, so as to nip the conflict in the bud and readjust your thinking for the better.
If you’re the more experienced agent, look at it the other way around. One obvious reason that a new agent would join a team is because they’re seeking a mentor. If you’ve got a conflict with the new agent on your team, approach the dialogue calmly, and gauge whether you could be the mentor they’re searching for.
This is such a valuable read—conflict resolution is one of those skills that’s essential in any team environment yet often overlooked. I really liked the emphasis on staying calm and listening actively before reacting. It’s amazing how much smoother things go when emotions are kept in check and communication stays respectful.