If you spoke to your clients the way you sometimes talk to yourself, you’d scare them off faster than a creaky door in a haunted house. Too many agents carry around an internal soundtrack that’s anything but supportive. “I’ll never hit my goals.” “Why would anyone choose me over the top producers in town?” “I’m terrible at prospecting.”
Those whispered doubts can feel like ghosts that follow you from one appointment to the next. But here’s the truth: they’re illusions. The longer you let them linger, the more they chip away at the one thing you need most in this business—confidence.
Here’s the kicker: confidence is one of the most important assets you can bring into a client meeting. If your head is full of self-doubt, how can you possibly project the calm, capable authority buyers and sellers crave right now?
Why wins matter more than you think
At the start of every Monday call, we ask agents to share their “wins of the week.” Some are big milestones—like listing a home—but often they’re the smaller victories: setting up three coffee appointments, organizing prospect notes, or even just making the calls you promised yourself you’d make.
Here’s why it works:
- It raises your happiness baseline. Recognizing progress—even small steps—trains your brain to see possibility instead of lack.
- It creates momentum. Wins build on wins. One brave phone call can lead to another, and soon you’ve got a pipeline growing instead of cobwebs collecting.
- It inspires others. Hearing another agent share a win reminds you what’s possible and gives you fresh ideas to try.
This simple practice shifts your focus from what’s missing to what’s moving. And in real estate, momentum is everything—the light that keeps shadows of doubt from taking over.
Break the loop
Negative self-talk is like a ghost story told on repeat. Left unchecked, it convinces you you’re not ready, not skilled enough, not “whatever” enough to succeed. The truth is: you’ve already proven otherwise. You’ve studied, passed exams, invested time, energy and money to become licensed in this business. You’ve earned the right to be here.
So instead of rehearsing your shortcomings, start rehearsing your wins. Keep a notepad, whiteboard, or app where you jot down even the smallest victories. The more you stack those moments, the harder it becomes for fear to haunt your progress.
From private wins to public confidence
Clients don’t need you to be perfect. They need you to be present, steady and confident. That confidence grows every time you take a moment to say, “I did it”—whether that “it” was a major deal or just facing something you’d been avoiding.
So, here’s my challenge: This month, track three wins a week, no matter how small. Say them out loud. Write them down. Share them with your team, spouse, or accountability partner. Watch what happens when you shift from self-criticism to self-recognition.
Final word
Confidence isn’t built in giant leaps—it’s built in daily wins. Stop letting phantom fears run the show. Replace them with solid proof of your progress, and watch your business grow stronger by design.
The agents who thrive in this business aren’t the ones who never doubt themselves—they’re the ones who learn to replace fear with evidence. One win at a time.
And remember: my team and I are in your corner. If you’re reading RISMedia, you’re already plugged into one of the best places to find the tools and resources you need to keep moving forward. Keep stacking those wins. Let the doubts fade into the shadows—your clients will feel the difference, and so will you.
For more information, visit https://darrylspeaks.com/.
