I had a profound conversation with my coach recently. It really hit me right between the eyes when we spoke about things I felt I should have done—things I regretted, if you will.
The conversation that ensued is, at this point, one of the top 10 conversations in my life. What is so amazing about that is, over the last week, I have had the chance to have the same conversation with three different people, but this time with me in the coach’s seat. I realized that I, along with my team, really need to pay attention to this lesson.
My coach told me that regret is one of the three Rs—regret, rejection, resentment—that will keep the team from greatness. Regret is based on us thinking we made a wrong choice and often reliving it over and over in our mind. In reality, when we make choices, we make the best choice we know in that given moment.
I had been struggling with a decision I made with my team that did not end even close to the way I expected. As I told my coach what had happened, I kept hearing myself say, “I should have…,” “How did I miss…,” etc. Then she spoke, calmly pointing out to me the humility that is required to know that I made the best decision I could have at the time—that I did what I did because I did what I did—and in order to move past that decision, I needed to accept that and make a plan to move forward.
Sometimes we see things so clearly in our businesses and lives, but sometimes we need someone to hold up a flashlight and shine a light on what they see that we can’t. In the midst of a problem in our life or business, it can seem like we are stuck in a box and the directions to get out of the box are printed on the outside—which of course is useless to us inside that box.
I have found that the best people to hold up that flashlight have been in that box too, and they made it out. That conversation with my coach was a klieg light, and it shook my world. I realized I could let go of “I should have” and focus on where I am going.
My coach was able to see that I was running a strategy that did not serve me—she shined the giant spotlight that showed me the way out of the box. People have this idea that coaches and team leaders have it all figured out. I have to say, with all humility, we don’t. Sometimes we are just a few steps ahead of our clients, sometimes we learn from our clients and sometimes we are miles ahead—but, we always care about the success of our clients, and because we are not in the box with them, we can see solutions that may not be apparent to the client and help them see the way out, and also help them implement solutions that keep them from going back into the box.
Sara Guldi of The Guldi Group is a 13-year veteran of real estate. She lives in Florida and has a team in Maryland that consistently exceeds $20 million in production annually, with an average sales price of approximately $165K. In their best year, The Guldi Group did $64 million in production, and they attribute their long-term success to a strong commitment to systems and coaching. Guldi’s passion is coaching, and she loves helping others build amazing business and lives using the performance coaching systems developed by Workman Success Systems. Contact her at Sara@WorkmanSuccessSystems.com. For more information, please visit www.workmansuccesssystems.com.