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THE PLAYBOOK: Having the Hard Conversations With Clients

Home Agents
By Devin Meenan
January 27, 2023
Reading Time: 6 mins read
THE PLAYBOOK: Having the Hard Conversations With Clients

Editor’s Note: The Playbook is a new RISMedia weekly segment centering on what brokers and agents are doing to ensure they not only survive but thrive in these challenging times. Industry professionals explain the strategies they’re employing and unique ideas they’ve formulated. Tune in every Thursday for another addition to the series.  

Convincing a seller or buyer to choose you as their real estate agent can be challenging as is, but the real work begins once they’re officially your clients. You have to maintain that relationship, and it’s not always easy to do so. Part of nurturing those relationships entails keeping the lines of communication open in order to have the tough conversations that may present themselves along the way. What are the frequent, and often difficult, conversations real estate professionals are having with their clients these days?

The “two Ps–Price and Possession” are a frequent topic these days, says Scott Beedon, a Fathom Realty REALTOR® and district director based in Port Huron, Michigan. Rose Sklar, an agent with Coldwell Banker Realty based in Weston, Florida, and founder of the Sklar Team, has had to give many of her clients a reality check in regard to the fact that the pandemic-fueled boost to the market is over. 

But what must be done during the most difficult moments of communication in order for real estate professionals to come out of the conversation with their business relationships intact? 

Set boundaries and expectations 

If you make your role clear with your client, you will avoid confusion and miscommunication or potential disputes down the line. That’s exactly what Dyan Pithers, co-owner of the Pithers Group at Coldwell Banker in Tampa, Florida, believes. 

“When the relationship first begins, there’s a little bit of confusion about the real estate professional’s role. Our role is to provide real estate services, to draw on our many years of experience, to provide tangible and intangible experience to the buyer and the seller. But many buyers and sellers feel that we should participate in the value of their property, up or down, and in them being able to achieve a sale.”

Stephanie Erhueh, managing broker of Long & Foster Real Estate’s offices in Waldorf and Tapestry, Maryland, concurs.

“Sometimes agents get excited because we have a new client, it’s off to the races, but there are some conversations that need to happen so that everybody’s on the same page. If you’re doing that properly on a recurring basis, it stymies difficult conversations that come up down the road.”

So, how should you define your role to clients? Sklar has a simple outlook she shares with buyers and sellers alike: “You’re the boss, but I’m the expert.”

Tough love consultations 

While hard conversations can be preemptive, Shannon Murree—a real estate professional with RE/MAX Hallmark Chay Realty in Barrie, Ontario—is always upfront with her clients. “When they ask me a question, I’m point blank with them. ‘Do you want me to tell you what you want to hear, or do you want me to tell you the truth?’”

When you’re preparing your seller for staging and open houses, some advice can be hard to hear. In fact, Pithers says that some of the hardest conversations she’s ever had with clients centered around updating their home to make it more presentable for buyers. 

“Food and animal scents can be a real problem and a very touchy subject to address. So can eclectic or outdated decor in connection with the home. If there’s a lot of very heavy religious symbolism in the home, that can be a challenge. Sometimes we deal with hoarding and we have to gently let people know there’s just a lot of clutter. If someone has a doll collection, buyers can find that creepy. It might be something they love to display, but you have to gently let them know we have to make the home model-ready.”

Buyers may also need some advice on proper behavior, too. “There’s been a time where we’re negotiating a purchase and my client shows up in their fancy-dancy new car. Don’t do that!” explains Murree.

This sort of advice hits at more personal topics for clients, so it can be hard to broach them, but it’s important to have these conversations to make sure the transaction proceeds smoothly for everyone involved. 

Breaking the bad news

Few things test a relationship’s strength like bad news. Every agent can probably recount a time when they had to break bad news, whether it’s telling your client their bid for the listing was lost or, on the flip side, the buyer retracted their offer. 

Beedon has had bad news beyond a sale going wrong. “We lost a family on a family vacation in a highway accident, so we had to sit down and understand what’s going on with the house and the heirs. It’s not just the ‘deal blew up,’ ‘the buyer lied on their application’ or ‘the seller decided they’re not going to move.’” 

When such news does rear its head, it’s imperative that you don’t let it break your professional relationship. Real estate is a referral-based business, after all.

When you first receive the bad news, you need to clear your head so you can plan your strategy. Erhueh’s advice for doing this? “First and foremost is to breathe. I think anytime one has to deliver bad news it’s very easy to spiral into all these different scenarios about what might this other person say and/or as a result of this thing.”

Preparation is crucial, especially since this is a conversation you can’t avoid. 

“I kind of rehearse how I think the meeting is going to go,” says Beedon. I think a good agent today needs to not just rip the bandaid off, but lay the cards out and then kind of let your clients react for a minute.”

Beedon also feels that it’s best to break the bad news, and discuss the way forward, in person. “I’m not that guy that’s going to say, ‘Hey, let me just shoot you a text here real quick, your world just collapsed.’ I don’t ever try to do it over the phone. Zoom is a last resort, but I want to see eyeball to eyeball across the kitchen table sharing what we know and where we’re at. There’s something to be said for understanding body language…body language speaks so much more volume than words.” 

Cooler heads prevail

Arguments almost always begin thanks to miscommunication, underscoring the importance of reminding clients that you’re on their side.

Murree believes that when keeping your clients in the loop, you should document that you did so. If you talk about something over the phone, send it to them via text or email as well. If something goes wrong during the transaction and your client claims they didn’t know about it, you can refute that and deescalate the situation at hand. 

“By backing it up by email, when tensions get high and my clients go, ‘You didn’t tell me that,’ you can say, ‘If you take a look at this email, I sent the information I’m talking about’…they either have their back up, or they just go, ‘you know what, it must have slipped my mind,’ and the tone totally changes.”

As a broker or manager

It’s not just your clients you’ll be having tough conversations with either. If you’re a broker or team leader, you’ll be having them with your agents, too. Erhueh, however, believes that the same strategies apply, no matter whether you’re speaking to a client or agent.

“The variables might be different, but the methodology isn’t. I think it’s absolutely important to over-communicate and manage expectations whether you’re talking to your agents or your respective clients: here’s where we are, here’s where we’re trying to go, here are some probable impediments to get there, but here’s how we handle it. I think people feel good when they feel as though you want them to succeed as much as they want to succeed, whatever that success looks like.”

Key takeaways:

  • If you forge a good relationship with your client, it can survive bumps in the road. 
  • By communicating early and consistently, you may be able to avoid difficult conversations altogether.
  • Prepare yourself when delivering bad news, from what you’ll say to how you anticipate your clients reacting. 
  • Talk to your clients in person and you’ll be able to better understand and communicate with them. 
  • Don’t take things personally, but don’t ignore broken boundaries either.
  • You’re on the same team as your client. Make sure they understand that.
Tags: FeatureHome SalesMLSMLSNewsFeedMLSSpotlightReal Estate Business DevelopmentREALTOR® AdviceREALTOR® SuccessThe Playbook
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Devin Meenan

Devin Meenan is an assistant editor for RISMedia, writing Premier content and assembling daily newsletters for digital publication. His writing at RISMedia typically focuses on political issues and legislation impacting the real estate industry; he is the creator of the “Legislative Round-Up” series. He holds a B.A. in English and Film from Denison University, where he was also Arts & Life editor of student-run paper The Denisonian.

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