This week, my travels took me to Chandler, Arizona, where I had the privilege of speaking at the HomeTeam Summit. I was joined by Paul Spires, Founder of HomeTeam Inspection, as their keynote speaker. Every year, I look forward to engaging with HomeTeam’s leadership, franchisees, and industry professionals who are dedicated to excellence.
One of the unique aspects of HomeTeam’s franchisee onboarding process is that every new franchise owner receives powerful leadership books—one of them being Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. When I was preparing for my keynote this week, I decided to re-listen to Extreme Ownership—a book I’ve long admired—to refresh my perspective on its core principles and how they apply not only to business but to leadership in every aspect of life.
As it turns out, there was another reason why I revisited Extreme Ownership ahead of the Summit. I learned that retired Navy SEAL Commander Jimmy May would also be speaking at the event, and his background immediately intrigued me. Commander May served 22 years in the Navy SEALs, leading combat teams, developing leadership training programs, and teaching combat ethics to both the Naval Special Warfare Community and the Navy JAG Corps. He completed seven deployments to the Middle East, earning three Bronze Stars and a Purple Heart. Today, he channels his vast leadership experience into his company, Mayday Executive Services, where he helps businesses build camaraderie and cohesion through shared intense experiences. He is also the CEO and a board member of Beyond the Brotherhood, a non-profit organization that helps Navy SEALs transition to civilian life.
Given his experience and leadership philosophy, Extreme Ownership felt more relevant than ever. At its core, the book is about one fundamental truth: leaders take full responsibility for everything in their world. There are no excuses, no blame-shifting and no waiting for someone else to fix the problem. It’s about ownership at every level, whether you’re leading a Navy SEAL team into battle or running a business in an ever-changing industry.
As I revisited the book, one chapter stood out to me more than ever—The Dichotomy of Leadership. It serves as a powerful reminder that leadership is a delicate balance, requiring us to navigate seemingly opposing forces with intention and awareness. Here are some of my most impactful takeaways:
- A leader must be confident but not arrogant: True leaders must walk the fine line between confidence and arrogance. A leader who lacks confidence won’t inspire their team, but overconfidence can lead to blind spots and costly mistakes.
- A leader must be aggressive but not reckless: Leaders must take decisive action and move forward with purpose. However, recklessness—making impulsive decisions without considering the consequences—can harm the team and the mission.
- A leader must be disciplined but not rigid: The best leaders set high standards and enforce discipline, but they also remain adaptable. Strict adherence to a plan without adjusting for new information or obstacles can hinder progress.
- A leader must hold their team accountable but also offer support: Accountability is crucial for high performance, but leaders must also provide mentorship, guidance, and support to help their team succeed.
- A leader must care deeply but not be emotionally attached: Great leaders care about their people and their mission, but emotional attachment must not cloud their judgment when making tough decisions.
Hearing from Commander May reinforced these principles. His career exemplifies what it means to own responsibility under the highest stakes imaginable, where leadership decisions mean the difference between mission success and failure. It was a reminder that Extreme Ownership isn’t just a philosophy for the battlefield—it’s a mindset that applies to every leader, entrepreneur, and professional looking to excel. When we own our responsibilities, decisions, and outcomes, we become better leaders—and that’s a lesson worth revisiting time and time again.
So, what’s the message? Leadership is about balance. A great leader understands the dichotomies that exist within leadership—confidence vs. humility, discipline vs. flexibility, and accountability vs. support. When we strike that balance, we create a culture of trust, performance, and growth. Whether on the battlefield, in business, or on the stage of life, the leaders who win are those who take extreme ownership while mastering the art of balanced leadership.
This article is adapted from Blefari’s weekly, company-wide “Thoughts on Leadership” column from HomeServices of America.
