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Why a Shift From ‘I Have to’ to ‘I Get to’ Can Make All the Difference

Home Best Practices
By Julie Escobar
March 28, 2024
Reading Time: 2 mins read
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Why a Shift From ‘I Have to’ to ‘I Get to’ Can Make All the Difference

In our industry and world right now, there’s a lot that feels heavy and/or overwhelming. And for many, that can mean a dip in motivation and a slide into “I don’t want to” thinking. That’s never going to help anyone succeed or lead a better life, right?

I learned a really valuable lesson a long time ago from a good friend about making one little shift in my mindset and language from “have to” to “get to.” It’s been a game-changer in my life, and I wanted to share it with you.

The psychological impact of ‘I have to’ versus ‘I get to’
Think about the weight that comes with the phrase “I have to.” It feels like a chore, doesn’t it? It sounds like a burden and rings of negative obligation, which doesn’t make a task sound inviting at all. Now, in contrast, think about how the term “I get to” makes you feel. It denotes positivity, opportunity, even excitement. You get to do something, like it’s a treat, which completely transforms your motivation to do whatever it is.

Applying the shift in real estate
As an agent, you probably face a daily to-do list that can feel daunting, and I can totally understand why you might see more obstacle than opportunity after the rollercoaster ride that has been our industry of late. Hear me out though. Consider the difference between “I have to host an open house” and “I get to host an open house.” The former feels like a chore, while the latter frames the event as an exciting opportunity to connect with potential buyers, network with neighbors who might be thinking of listing, and generate leads. Prospecting calls can feel scary when you’re calling to “take” a listing or “get” an appointment, but what if you framed the calls as an opportunity to connect with another human being and figure out how you can serve them? That feels more win-win than “making cold calls,” doesn’t it? 

Cultivating a ‘get to’ attitude
Developing this mindset might take a little practice at first, so start with the simple step of awareness and recognizing when you use “have to” language and consciously replace it with “get to.” See how that makes you feel about the task at hand. You might surprise yourself at the positive way it contributes to your goals and growth.

The shift from “have to” to “get to” is more than just a linguistic change. It’s a mindset that opens doors to greater satisfaction, productivity and success in real estate and life. I hope you get to feel that transformation for yourself. 

Learn more at https://www.darrylspeaks.com/Online-Training.

Tags: Business DevelopmentcoachingDarryl DavisReal Estate Magazine
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Julie Escobar

Julie Escobar is president of Darryl Davis Seminars. Together with her partner, Darryl Davis, she manages one of the most innovative real estate training and coaching systems in the country, The Power Program®. Her team is currently hosting free weekly webinars. Learn more at www.darrylspeaks.com/Online-Training.

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